Several young adults are hanging around in a modern kitchen where a small gathering of friends is taking place. The sound of pop music plays in the background while various decorations are dotted around the room, one a banner saying “Happy Birthday” and another a balloon saying “Happy 21st”. One girl stands out from the crowd, she is relaxed and happy, laughing away with her friends in the midst of the group. The doorbell goes and a young male arrives, he is dressed casually in jeans and a T-shirt, most of the party go over to greet him except the girl who now looks tense and uneasy, she finds it difficult to look at the boy, fiddling with the glass of drink in her hand and constantly looking at the floor. The boy keeps glancing over at the girl looking eager to talk to her. The commotion surrounding the boy dies down and he goes over to talk to the girl, he grabs her arm and asks if they can talk but she wrestles it free and makes an escape to one of the bedrooms upstairs in the house.
Once in the bedroom she sits on the bed and puts her head in her hands. The boy is now in the middle of a drinking game with those in the kitchen but while everyone else is laughing and knocking back shots he keeps looking at the stairs wanting to go after the girl.
The girl is looking intently at her reflection in the bedroom mirror, she breathes heavily and begins to fix her make-up. The boy is now outside the bedroom door listening carefully, he knocks gently against the door and hears no response. He knocks again and enters. The girl is sitting on the bed rifling through her bag, the boy goes over to sit next to her offering her a drink, she moves away and doesn’t look him in the eye. Seeing she doesn’t want to be near him he walks over to a chair in the corner of the room, placing the drinks on a small bedside table, both of them sitting in an awkward silence. Suddenly the girl gets up from the bed and walks quietly over to the boy, she grabs his neck, pushing him against the wall and forcing him up out of the chair. He doesn’t react or even look her in the eye. Tears stream down her face as she releases her grip on the boy, she leaves the room while the boy slumps to the floor.
In this synopsis I added in the familiar event of a 21st birthday party, to help the reader identify with the scene and also to make the short more successful, as having an identifiable event within the film means the audience are familiar with the situation. It also places the characters in a world of barely suppressed emotions, which is useful for generating tension.
However the biggest change to this synopsis comes in the development of the antagonist of the film. In the first synopsis he is very confident around the girl and far more aggressive towards her, whereas in this synopsis he is much more gentle, knocking on the door before entering and offering her a drink as a kind of peace offering. He also doesn't touch the girl in any way physically, one of the main changes to the character.
The protagonist is also developed a lot more as she challenges the boy physically, this development within the character tells us that she is actually extremely angry with the boy and that her taking action against him is a huge part of her journey. This ending ultimately lets the audience make their own conclusions as to why she's so angry at him, unlike the first synopsis where the ending tells the audience what has happened between the two.